EstanislaoStanislaus

Death waits not for me. It does not. It cannot and shall not. I do not know where I am going but I do not want to fall off before I get there. I do not want to harm. I want the good, the not-pain. I want the world to select for that not-pain. I don't want to live in a world where pain is the answer to successful reproduction and survival. Yet I have no control over what reality is wont to be. Life may have plunged me into the deepest pits of despair and blood, and I'd have not a choice, or life might've plunged, let the muses decide if they cannot stand my grammar. Sometimes I don't know where to go. Sometimes I do not know where at all

Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. Time to be done now. Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. Stop now. Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. Stop, please. Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. Stop! STOP! Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. No No. Can't Can't. Stop Stop. Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. NO! NO! NO! NO! Grumble Grumble. Grumble! Grumble! GRUMBLE! GRUMBLE! …You're too skinny… Nibble Nibble. Crunch Crunch. Chomp Chomp. …And on to infinity…

Happy are you? Bloody am I! Bloody with hate! Scorn! Rage! Jealousy! I seek Reprieve I am a beast, Beaten in the Jungle. My soul dies daily. I ache greatly. No! You fool! Your pains Can never Match hers! NEVER EVER! Just die for good now. Your moans are stupid groans. Too many bleed Much more than You. Your blood is a sin. Theirs a curse. There is a difference. Just Be silent And Let your soul Seep out your veins. Do not say anything. For you and your pains, Are not a thing. They are nothing.

Pulchritude, I hate you. Give me something lust can't touch. Please. Something pure From bottom To brim. Oh! But I forgot. Mine eyes can see Only muddled complexity. Purity would be to my eyes (and heart) As the wind is to my heart. My heart doesn't sense (feel) the wind. It is enshrouded by my red bones and dirty bloody guts. My eyes don't sense (see) the purity. It is nothingness. So I am locked in this/these dirty bloody mechanical Hellish nasty biological cell/cells. My eyes can't see the wind either though… For all their use they are (perhaps) useless! (Perchance) I should pluck them out! !  !

And the blood soaked And the dreams broke And my tears were dreams And my dreams were tears The blood sloshed against the inside of my skull The dreams disintegrated into translucent red wisps My tears dried My dreams sighed Eyes closed Mind sown shut Sunrise! Green, Gold, soaring spikes into that sky Grecian Roman Roaring… No, Singing! Ringing! Eyes opened Mind awakened Blood sits on the floor In my lap Behind my eyes But, Not, In my heart Apart No Spark Sigh Dreams are my Food My Water My Heart